Dancing with the Stars, ABC’s still immensely popular dancing game show is back this Monday night with its newest season premiere. It’s always followed the formula of most reality game show premises – one part beloved and nonsensical host(s) (Tom Bergeron – beloved / Samantha Harris – nonsensical), one part snarky judge (Bruno Tonioli), two parts irrelevant judge(s) (Len Goodman and Carrie Ann Inaba), and one part D List Celebs performing something that makes them look either very foolish or very genius.

Season Six Roll Call!

Adam Carolla – formerly of just about everything he felt like appearing in on Comedy Central, but most notably for me, The Man Show. DWTS will be served well by his brand of humor and goofiness and who knows? He could be a dark horse who surprises us all with smooth white boy moves that don’t involve shifting from one foot to the other.

Christian de la Fuente – international movie star who has done a few guest appearances on CSI: Miami (insert David Caruso episode opening button line like, “The dancing on this show (put on sunglasses)…just got a lot more deadly” to be interrupted by The Who’s “wwwwwaaaaaaahhhhh, we won’t be fooled again…”). He may have the stereotypical Latin flare that could give him an edge up on his competition.

Shannon Elizabeth – the poor man’s Denise Richards, and really if you’re going to be the poor man’s anything, I don’t think you want it to be Denise Richards. She’s cute and quirky, appears to be extremely athletic and, according to every guy I know, “quite bendy.” At least she’ll be fun to watch.

Mario – “Crying Out For Me” R&B musician who I never realized kinda looks like Lil Bow Wow did a couple years ago. He should follow the rule of thumb that as a young black R&B musician should at least have mad rhythm if not a genetic ability to dance better than me, which really isn’t that well. I’m not playing the race card, but Will Smith proved it best in “Hitch” not to question a black man’s ability to dance.

Marlee Matlin – um, huh? How is she gonna…oh, nevermind. I’m just sick enough to find this as funny as having one legged Heather Mills on in season four.

Penn Jillette – his appearance on the show will only be cool if Teller actually shows up to be his silent but amazingly good dance partner. I feel I will be waiting quite awhile to see that. Penn is a fairly largely built man, but we’ve seen before that large men can sometimes be surprisingly graceful.

Priscilla Presley – or at least from the promo pictures, the reanimated corpse of Priscilla Presley, ‘cause homegirl is looking rough these days in the “too much botox” department. However, homegirl can also has moves from her Elvis days and will probably fill Marie Osmond’s role of “wacky mom type” from last season.

Monica Seles – former professional tennis player who I really hope grunts maniacally every time she performs a difficult lift.

Jason Taylor – I’m pleading girl syndrome and saying only that he’s a football player for Miami. Football players are crazy graceful on the field, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he does just as well as Emmitt Smith did. Also? Not too bad to look at.

Marissa Jaret Winokur – Her turn in Hairspray proves that big girls can dance! If she’s gonna represent my fellow chubby girls, she better bring it!

Kristi Yamaguchi – It’s a no brainer for the figure skater doing well in a dance competition and at least she’s used to working with a partner who’s probably better at accessorizing his outfit than she is.

Steve Guttenberg – I actually thought the ‘Berg was dead, but I may have been confusing that with his career. He’s definitely filling the weird, but oddly relevant D list celeb quota this season. I look for Dave Coulier and/or Richard Greico to fill his spot next year.

Tune in Monday, March 17, 2008 to see how this season’s crop starts off.