The Sub.Standard

category archive listing Category Archives: Tech

And The Award For “Snarkiest iPhone Application” Goes Too….

I couldn’t let this little “gem” (hehe) of a story go by without commenting on how warm and fuzzy it made me feel inside, what with my general distrust of Apple products and product purchasers. Apparently I’m not the only one who sees them for the status-symbolitians that they really are (ok, I’m having a little fun at their expense here, but you have to admit there is a certain amount of exclusivity built in to the possession of an iPhone.) German software developer Armin Heinrich was so sure that some iPhone purchasers love overpriced shtuff so much that they’ll buy pretty much anything that he wrote a $1,000 application and sold it through Apple’s app store. What does this $1,000 app do, you might ask? Nothing. It does nothing except display a picture of a ruby (which is really the champaigne of stones).

While I can appreciate the snarkitude of such an undertaking, even I was surprised the L.A.

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Sirius and XM Complete Merger: Home Stretch or Last Hurrah?

We’ve been hearing about the impending Sirius/XM merger for about a year now, and today it finally became official. It’ll be interesting to see what this means for what has been largely a niche market. Satellite radio is cool, for sure, mostly due to the availability of commercial free and narrowly-targeted content, and some cool hardware options, but as an industry they’ve had to rely mostly on new car purchases (with satellite equipment included and free trial periods offered) and big-name talent acquisitions (like Howard Stearn or Martha Stewart) to get new subscribers, rather than the preferred method of word-of-mouth buzz or straight up product dominance.  

Will this merger allow the new company to make the push for mainstream acceptance by shedding overhead and removing the major competition for the big-name deals, or will it be a sign that satellite radio as an industry has “jumped the shark” and is doomed to be a novelty item of the future?

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AT&T Finagles Out of a $199 iPhone

I’m usually all about the asterisk. But either I never noticed it, or they just added it. Either way, my life is not going to change for the better on July 11th, as I had been planning. I’ve been patient. I’ve wanted the iPhone ever since the beginning. But I knew I needed to hold out for the “next” version, you know, let them work the kinks out…and let the price come down as well. So when version 2.0 was announced with the amazingly low price of $199, I about jumped out of my skin. I can’t imagine anyone NOT getting an iPhone now, I figured. Not realizing that particular anyone not getting an iPhone would end up being me. Turns out it’s all about the asterisk. As I leafed through the Apple site yesterday, in preparation of the big day (they have a “How to Get Ready for Friday” section) I got all my papers lined up, got my blood type and library cards photocopied in triplicate, and thought I’d check out the monthly plan charge I could start to expect, come Friday.

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This Week In Jesus - Grand Theft Culture Edition

Well, after a one-week hiatus, TWIJ is back and better than ever. The last two weeks, Jesus has been conspicuously absent from both American Idol AND Oprah, but we won’t hold it against them. Another big story that Jesus was absent from was the MASSIVE release of Grand Theft Auto IV. For those of you who have been living under a rock that was under another really big rock that was surrounded by a really high pop-culture-reflecting fence, GTA has been a staple of the gaming culture since 1997 when Rockstar Games released the first edition of the current four (not including expansion packs.) The latest release sold 6 million copies worldwide in its first week, grossing over $500 million (which was even more impressive than Iron Man’s $100 million take!), and the series as a whole has sold over 70 million copies.

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This Week In Jesus: Divine Finale Edition

What shall it profit a man if he gain the corner office and lose his own soul? (Mark 8:36, New International Eli Stone Edition)

 If ABC’s Eli Stone isn’t the best examination of faith ever on television, then I will sell my Tivo. The season finale was this week, and it played like a modern Hebrews 11. Over the last few months on my new favorite show: by faith, former cutthroat, high-powered lawyer Eli Stone found a reason to live, and a meaning for life. He wrestled with the dirty side of faith - the side that you don’t learn about in Sunday School but if you’re lucky, you learn about in life. The side whereby God occasionally knocks you on your ass.

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PC vs. Mac - a Point/Counter-point exercise

Playing the part of Point in this exercise will be me. Playing the part of Counter-point will be my imaginary friend who we’ll call Teve Tobs. Let’s begin.

ME: Ok, Teve, first category: Software. PC’s have like a million different software choices.

TEVE TOBS: Most of which are useless in everyday life. Apple focuses on those programs that make your iLife better, fuller.

ME: Whatever…PC’s have the greatest office software of all time - Microsoft Office.

TEVE: You’ve been able to get Office on Macs since 2000.

ME: Yea, but running Office on a Mac is like going to a Justin Timberlake concert…even if it IS a lot of fun, it just doesn’t FEEL right.

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What’s going on with satellite radio? And why should I care?

If you haven’t heard, 13 months after it was originally proposed, the U.S. Department of Justice has recently ruled that the merger between the two U.S. providers of satellite radio was NOT a violation of anti-trust laws. While it’s not technically a merger (Sirius is buying XM out), both companies have embraced the deal as a way to remain competitive in a difficult-to-predict market that’s being changed almost daily by new technologies. There is still one hurdle to cross before the marriage union commences, as the FCC still has the approve the joining, but the FCC usually sides with the justice department when it comes to questions of legality.

So if the deal goes through, what does it mean for satellite subscribers?

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Apple Trying To Give Away Free Music

The Financial Times is reporting that Apple is in discussions with the recording industry to provide “all you can eat” music downloads to iPod and iPhone purchasers through the iTunes outlet. Buyers of Apple’s already-overpriced gadgets are expected to have the option of paying an additional projected $100 lump sum or an $8 monthly fee for the musical smorgasbord. Users would then be allowed to keep 40 or 50 tracks a year, even if they changed their subscription status.

Apple, Inc logo - blackApple’s new business-model is likely to become the second attempt by Big Music to get back what illegal downloaders have taken from it, as after the utter failure of DRM (Digital Rights Management) several legit unlimited P2P downloading services have struck deals with major labels.

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“Blackberrynoia”: Consider it coined

If you’re not a Crackberry user, disregard this post.

If you ARE a Crackberryholic, you’ll know exactly the feeling you get when you’ve been away from your phone for a while and when you return, you’re SURE you should see that little blinking light telling you there’s a message waiting. That comforting, blinking beacon, reassuring you that someone out there cares. But what happens when it’s not blinking?

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Two important legal victories for Free Internet Speech

Score one for the interweb. Actually, score two. 

Two important stories came out this weekend from the AP regarding free speech on the internet. One was a report on a ruling in favor of Craigslist, the other was the story of one woman who’s fighting back against the Recording Industry Association of America’s attempt at mass intimidation.

In the Craigslist case, a federal appeals court ruled Friday that CL should NOT be held liable for postings on their site that may have been discriminatory. The postings in question were searches for potential housemates, three of which stated,

“NO MINORITIES,” “Requirements: Clean Godly Christian Male” and “Only Muslims apply.”

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File this under: holy crap

When I saw this fantastic product (fantastic from a comedy standpoint) advertised on Facebook, I just couldn’t resist following the link. Sure…I can take a break from my 300th movie quiz to have a laugh. I was sure that it was going to be a Buddy Christ-esque gag. The longer I waited for the punchline, the sadder I got. I try hard not to be a cynical Christian crap hater, but this makes it difficult.

Cross-shaped MP3 player

Best Magic Eye EVER!!!

It’s a schooner! No, it’s a sailboat.

Actually, if you can make it work for you, you’ll see two small objects pop out. Note what words are in those two objects and you’ll get the message.

Crazy text-based magic eye

Blackberry vs. Palm showdown: Part 2

If you didn’t catch round one of this heavyweight matchup, check out our first look at the two hot offerings in the smart phone world. After a couple more weeks of using the Centro, I thought it was worth taking a second look at some of the more subtle talking points.

First off, let’s talk email delivery. It’s always been somewhat of a given that Blackberry rules when it comes to email delivery. Their business has basically been built on the groundbreaking email push technology. But on further review, it’s not as much of a home run for BB as has been advertised. AITO (as it turns out), each major carrier now offers their own push technology, in the form of a free downloadable third-party software app. The only issue here is that Sprint’s version is a little glitchy, dawg.

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The Blackberry Curve vs. the Palm Centro

Ok, it may not be Mac vs. PC, but you don’t have to look too hard to find geeks that feel nearly as strongly about their respective Blackberry vs. Palm stances. Blackberry is the king of business, but since Palm’s been in the personal handheld device business for a decade (they pretty much pioneered the mobile computing industry with the Palm Pilot, which is a term you still might hear people use generically in reference to any PDA), they have a definite edge on available, reliable software. I’ve been fortunate enough to use the latest models from both (the Blackberry Curve and Palm’s brand-new Centro) extensively, so here’s how they stack up.

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Tivo turns 9 this month. Happy Birthday, best friend!

Tivo logoIt was March of 1999 when the very first Tivo rolled off the assembly line and changed TV watching forever. It’s hard to qualify just how big of an advance it actually was. In my head, I know it wasn’t as big as the introduction of the color TV set, but my heart of hearts is telling me that it’s the biggest thing to happen to TV since the remote. IRG, it’s certainly the biggest advance during generation Y’s collective lifetime.

For those of you who think Tivo and a plain-jane DVR is the same, you’re missing the boat, as Tivo offers several features not available in most knockoff DVR models, and its incredibly intuitive UI (user interface) makes using another DVR feel like trying to play the latest Chris Brown CD with a 1988 8-track machine.

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TiVo Selling Out?

People are competing for our eyeballs. We all are aware of that, but it always helps to be aware of the ways in which people are trying to be clever and unobtrusive as they sink their product pitches into our psyche. Product placement in television and film is old hat. Last week, two shows (oddly enough, the similarly themed “Studio 60″ and “30 Rock”) included story lines where the offer to use product placement in their programs was perhaps the hugest ethical dilemma the producers could have faced. Screw, in the name of tolerance, any of the moral questions that get raised. But try to put Snapple on my show and I’ll pitch a hissy like you’ve never seen. Don’t sell me out, beeotch! Hilariously, “30 Rock” used their entire opening segment to place a Snapple product in every shot. Well done, wink-winkers and nudge-nudgers. Give me more of that. 

But don’t give me this.

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